


Meeting Standards

by echoflowertea



Series: Living [30]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Female Reader, Reader Is Not Frisk, fat reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 08:19:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8005453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoflowertea/pseuds/echoflowertea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Today's big errand: look for a new place to live. A little bit of an undertaking, but you're sure you and the brothers can manage...without any major hiccups, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meeting Standards

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the delay. this week was rough, my wrist has been hurting really bad. i work in an office setting so typing these fics + manning the front desk day to day just wears it out. but i powered through the discomfort to bring you this chapter, i'm just really sorry it's a day late. :/
> 
>  **i update this series on fridays**!
> 
>  
> 
> **came hang with me on[tumblr](http://echoflowertea.tumblr.com)!**

“LISTEN, YOU TWO. THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT DAY.”

“uh huh.”

“Right, Paps.”

“THIS COULD VERY WELL BE THE TURNING POINT IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. BECAUSE WITHOUT COHESION, WE WILL NOT STAND A CHANCE.”

“yep.”

“Gotcha!”

“NOW. I AM GOING TO INTRODUCE MYSELF FIRST SO THAT WE MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION. YOU TWO…WELL, LOVE OF MY LIFE, YOU NEED NO EXTRA COACHING BECAUSE YOU ARE ALREADY PERFECT. BUT YOU, SANS! YOU HAVE TO BE EXTRA ATTENTIVE!”

“ok.”

“I AM BEING COMPLETELY SERIOUS. THIS PERSON IS ONE OF THE HIGHEST-RATED REAL ESTATE AGENTS IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY. IF THERE IS ANY HOUSE OUT THERE FOR US, THEY WILL FIND IT.”

You laughed at his enthusiasm. It was really nice to see him so passionate about this. Sure, Papyrus put his heart and SOUL into…well, pretty much everything he did. But this was a little different. He wanted to be sure that every single hope and dream of yours was addressed by the person who would help you find the perfect home.

Papyrus set the living room up the best he could, pulling out all the stops. He broke out a china set that Toriel gave to him when she was cleaning out her extra storage unit. You had a sneaking suspicion that it once belonged to Asgore, so she had absolutely no use for it, nor did she have a desire to keep it in her house. Papyrus loved it, especially because it was decorated with all of these little flowers that sparkled with glitter and happy faces.

He made tiny little cakes to go with the drinks, too. All set up and frosted to perfection. You almost popped one in your mouth on the down low when his back was turned, but Sans had been eyeing you the entire time you considered it. You knew he would’ve made some allusion to it later on, and you didn’t want to risk him blackmailing you later.

The place had been scrubbed until it looked brand new. Papyrus spent hours picking up every single hair that Annoying Dog tracked in the house, he made Sans relocate all of his socks (which was…a really hilarious thing, honestly), and made sure the place was bright, full of light, and completely homey. It looked completely different than what you were used to, but you expected this kind of thing when trying to impress a bigwig.

Papyrus jumped up as soon as a car alarm went off outside. He rushed over and adjusted his outfit before swinging the door open with a big, welcome smile.

“HELLO! THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO HELP US WITH OUR CONUNDRUM! MY NAME IS THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

The monster that came in the room glanced at all of you. Clipboard in their hand. Eyes narrowed.

“Let’s get down to business.”

You were a little intimidated at their energy. Was this how it was going to be the entire time? No wonder why Paps was so worried. With a little less confidence than before, you shrank into your seat.

“OH, PLEASE HELP YOURSELF! I’VE MADE SEVERAL DISHES FOR US ALL TO ENJOY.”

Papyrus scrambled over and made her a plate. It was gorgeous. He poured them a steaming cup of tea to go with it. He looked totally in control, but upon closer inspection, his fingers were…trembling.

Oh, no. Oh, _hell_ no. This wasn’t going to go down like this. If he was this worried about the approval of some random monster that was supposed to be the be all, end all of housing situations, then you were going to give it your all. Because you loved him, and you would be damned if you let him flounder and fail just because you had your own reservations.

“They’re really good. Papyrus put a lot of thought into them.”

His cheekbones blossomed with color. Sans’ grin tightened.

The real estate agent shrugged and plopped down like they would rather be anywhere else but here. Looking down at the saucer in their hand. Bringing the cup to their lips. Taking a long sip.

It was dead silent – and ridiculously tense – as everyone held their breath.

They spit it back in their cup.

“Is this…tea?”

“OH….IT IS…DO YOU NOT LIKE TEA?” Papyrus looked like his heart was about to break.

“I abhor the stuff.” They plucked a handkerchief from their bag and dabbed away at their lips.

Then WHY did they even drink it?! It was obvious what was in the china! You tried so hard not to bore holes into their head, thinking up a thousand different ways that you could kill them and get away with it. It didn’t help that they seemed to thrive off Papyrus’ reaction, too. They just leered at everyone before returning to the giant stack of paperwork that settled in their lap.

You shot an imploring look at Sans. He drummed his fingers on the edge of the chair and the pupils in his eyesockets started to dwindle. So he was feeling it too, right? How she was really trying to get under your skin? That was…a little encouraging, that your bad vibes were shared with someone else. Still, it was hard to believe that this was someone so highly regarded by monster and humankind. With that kind of attitude, why?

“I’d like to gain some sort of understanding about what you’re looking for. Please be as detailed as possible.” They reached for a set of glasses and nestled them on the bridge of their snout. “Question one: what is your budget?”

“OH, I THINK THAT WE ARE ACTUALLY PLANNING TO RENT—”

“five hundred thousand.”

“Um, maybe like…one-fifty?”

All three of you looked at each other. Flustered.

Papyrus rubbed at his arm and lowered his head until his chin hit his chest. “OH! I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST GOING TO MOVE INTO SOMEONE ELSE’S BIGGER HOUSE AND PAY THINGS MONTHLY. SO THAT WAY WE COULD ALWAYS TRY FOR SOMETHING MORE PERMANENT IN THE FUTURE WHEN SANS IS MORE STABLE IN HIS NEW CAREER OF ASTROPHYSICS!”

Sans shrugged. “nah. i'm pretty much a shoe in. kinda want a place to settle down. some place _big_. for all of us to have enough space.”

“I thought we could upgrade. Maybe expand on what we already have.”

The agent frowned. “Next question, then. What sort of special additions would you like for the house?”

“A BASKETBALL COURT!”

“a pool.”

“Nothing, really.”

Damn.

You tried so hard not to sigh and bury your face in your hands. Things…were not looking good. You all should’ve discussed this before you invited them over, because this monster was probably judging you all SO hard right now, if that expression was anything to go by. Papyrus started to sweat and bobbed his leg up and down, a habit he only did when he was nervous, the sharp and sudden action causing his bones to shake. Sans just sat there. Shock still. As if daring them to continue drilling you.

“I WANT TO BE ABLE TO PLAY ‘HORSE’ WITH UNDYNE! EXCEPT WE CALL IT ‘PASTA’ BECAUSE IT IS FAR MORE RELEVANT TO OUR INTERESTS WITH THE SAME NUMBER OF LETTERS! AND I DO NOT WANT TO SUMMON…AARON…WITH ALL OF MY LETTERS SPELLED OUT.”

“well, i want a pool. so i can have a reason to look at you all day.”

You flushed at the comment as the agent lifted a brow at you. “U-um, I don’t really have anything specific in mind. Just some place with a big kitchen.”

“REALLY?”

“Yeah!” You lit up as Papyrus and Sans both stared at your expression. “I mean, Papyrus loves to cook. It’s his favorite past time. What we need is a place where he can have all of his utensils and ingredients in one place. Maybe something like… a walk-in pantry! He’s kind of big, so it would be nice if he didn’t have to stoop down a couple of feet just to search for his favorite spice. And while we would have to work around the height differences of the cupboards and fridge, it would be great if he had a nice, basic structure for him to start on all of his culinary masterpieces!”

You realized how hard you’d been ranting and froze. Sheepish. Sans and Papyrus didn’t look slighted at your enthusiasm. In fact, both of them had giant grins on their faces. Papyrus’ eyesockets sparkled, whereas Sans’ pupils turned into heart shapes again.

“that’s…a real good idea, babe.”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU PUT SO MUCH THOUGHT INTO IT!!! I HAD NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED…NYEH HEH HEH!”

You were so busy reacting to them that you hadn’t noticed the gentle tapping of the agent’s pencil against their clipboard.

“I have it down. May we move on?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

You didn’t feel very apologetic, but you just hid your grin behind the cup of tea anyway. Sucking down the liquid and peeking over the ceramic at the bros. Sans winked at you and gestured to his brother, who was already trying so hard not to liveblog about this exciting new realization.

“Any other special requests?”

Papyrus went silent. Sans shifted in his seat.

You opened your mouth. Big surprise, right? “A room with a skylight.”

“what?”

“Yeah. Something for you.” You grinned. “I mean, you and I just spent an entire weekend learning all about space and stuff. The house we live in now is nice, but there isn’t much natural light. Sans loves to stargaze, he even has a really expensive and cool telescope to do it. It would be nice if he had something in his room where he could…look up. And realize that…despite everything, he’s up here on the surface. He can reach the sky and the stars, that they’re not just impossible dreams any more. Where he can watch the moon and the clouds shift and planes fly overhead. That’s…just something I’ve been playing with, anyway.”

The monster stared at you. You wondered if maybe it was too much, if they never heard something like that before. If that was even a thing in their culture. You swallowed and waited for any kind of admonishment from their end, but they simply snapped out of their reverie and went back to scribbling in their notes.

“you…really took the time to think that up? for me?”

“Yeah, you dork.” You laughed, really wishing you could just waltz over and smooch him smack dab on his face. “I think it would help on…nights when it’s not so good. And if I’m not there for whatever reason. Plus, it would be great to use natural light to force you out of bed.”

Papyrus cackled. “HE WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO SLEEP IN AT THAT RATE! EXCELLENT! I LIKE THIS IDEA VERY MUCH!”

“We are getting off topic here. Any last requests?”

Papyrus and Sans glanced at each other. Exchanged a look. A nod.

“WE WANT THREE ADJOINING ROOMS.”

The monster’s expressionless façade broke. “E-Excuse me?”

“THREE ADJOINING ROOMS. ON THE SAME FLOOR! I WANT SANS’ ROOM TO BE ON ONE SIDE, THEN HERS, THEN MINE! SO THAT SHE CAN COME AND GO AS SHE PLEASES! IT IS VERY INCONVENIENT FOR HER TO LEAVE ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND WALK DOWN THE HALL, SHE OFTEN TIMES WAKES UP AND CAN’T GET BACK TO SLEEP. OR SHE TRIPS AND FALLS SOMETIMES OR ENDS UP LOCKED OUT AND HAS TO HEAD FOR THE COUCH. IT IS VERY CONCERNING.”

“yeah, so that way when my bro wakes up, she can just hop into bed with me. and the middle room would keep some privacy between us.”

“YES, BECAUSE WE RESPECT EACH OTHER’S PERSONAL SPACE AND DO NOT WISH TO INTRUDE ON INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP TIMES!!!”

You couldn’t believe it. You’d never mentioned any of that stuff to them, though you had been thinking about it way back when you first started spending the night at their place. It was…kind of surreal to know that they’d been paying such close attention.

“I THINK THAT COVERS IT, THOUGH.”

“yeah.”

The monster paused for a moment. Closed their eyes. Tapped the eraser against their mouth.

“And where do you want your house to be? Location-wise?”

“NEAR OUR FAMILY!”

“close by tori, the kids, alphys n’ undyne.”

“Somewhere not too far from everyone else.”

You all laughed.

“I DO NOT WANT TO BE ISOLATED FROM THEM. THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO US! WE OFTEN SPEND TIME DURING THE HOLIDAYS! AND WE WANT THEM TO BE ABLE TO COME AND VISIT ANY TIME THEY WOULD LIKE.”

“yeah, it just makes sense.”

“Tori’s kids are gonna be getting older, enough that they’ll want to swing by and visit. We can’t make them go on a big road trip just to hang out.”

It was…nice to think about it. How you were trying to plan for things that far in the future. But you couldn’t imagine anything else. Being with the brothers, you’d experienced so much. And it just wouldn’t feel right if you didn’t experience milestones with Toriel’s kids while all three of you remained together. Like Papyrus said, they were…family. Damn, it was kind of weird putting it that way, but they were. You’d been there long enough to watch after them and be a part of their lives, so you weren’t going to let something like distance get in the way of anything.

“I think that is everything I need.” They stood and not one of you got up to let them go. “I will need to gather some resources. I will be back later this afternoon to take you to some…of my choices.”

They turned heel and let themselves out of the house. For the first time in the entirety that they’d been with you, you felt like you could breathe again.

“Ugh, Papyrus, how did you even _find_ them?”

“TORIEL SAID THAT THEY WERE VERY PROFESSIONAL AND WOULD BE ABLE TO GET US A GOOD FIT. AND THEY WERE THE ONES WHO SOLD ALPHYS AND UNDYNE THEIR BIG MANSION! I THOUGHT I WOULD GIVE THEM A TRY, BUT I HAD NO IDEA HOW SCARY THEY COULD BE!”

You really wanted to get up and lock the door after them, but it seemed like a little too rude. No matter how annoying they were. You set down your drink and flopped onto the couch, staring up at the ceiling, their annoying voice still reverberating through your ears.

Why were they taking this so seriously, anyway? Most people in this line of work were quick to just get the basics down and then point you in the general direction of where to start. Never in your life had you felt so…undermined, and just for expressing your opinion.

And sure, you guys had varying thoughts, but this was your first home together. You were three completely different people. It would be a bit silly to expect everyone to have the exact same vision. The agent made it seem like if you all weren’t in agreement about every single thing that you weren’t ready for this step.

But you…

Were.

Because you had been friends with them for years. For closing in on a decade. You trusted and loved them more than anything. The relationship was still new, but for you, it was everything. And if the two of them thought that they could handle being with you for more than just a few hours here and there, more power to them. More power to you and your relationship.

“Let’s just do our own researching until they come back.”

“heh, read my mind.” Sans hopped down from his seat. “bro, we can pull some strings and take a look at some places in the paper or online. let's take a quick trip.”

“BUT OUR APPOINTMENT…”

“We’ll be back in time to meet with them, Paps. I promise.”

He glanced down at the near untouched goods on their plate. How much effort and time had been put into the cutesy little snack that they ignored. The gears turned in his skull and he put his hands on his hips, huffing.

“IT TAKES QUITE A BIT TO UPSET THE GREAT PAPYRUS, BUT THEY HAVE DONE IT! YES, I AGREE! WE SHOULD LEAVE AND CONDUCT OUR OWN RESEARCH. I BET WE WILL FIND SOMETHING WAY COOLER!!!”

It took a few minutes to put everything away, but all three of you piled into Papyrus’ car in record time. He had his extra cool shades on, the ones that read ‘BONE 2 B WILD’ across the lenses. Sans was the one who bought it for him, and his brother was so touched by the gesture and the way that they sparkled in the sunlight that he refused to throw them away despite the pun. That and you were fully convinced that Papyrus actually _liked_ that one.

“WHICH ONE SHALL WE VISIT FIRST?”

“Hmm…” You thumbed through the paper and ad listings you printed off. “Let’s start with Sans’ choices!”

“OFF WE GO!”

The entire ride you felt your mood lift. It was a lot easier to forget about the other monster when the three of you were together like this. They really had no final say in where you guys lived, and that was what got you through this. Because despite their level of professionalism and the big list of references and referrals under their belt, all of you were fully capable of making this decision as a trio.

After all, that monster wasn’t going to be living with you, so who cared what they did?

The neighborhood that Sans chose was full of giant mansions. Uh, hell no? You were afraid to step out of the car for fear that maybe someone down the street would’ve called the cops on you for acting suspicious or something. He didn’t seem to mind, giving vague directions toward the open house and leading Papyrus to the building that he seemed to be eyeing pretty closely since you mentioned that the three of you needed to pursue this thing on your own.

“there we go.” Sans hopped out of the car and started down the sidewalk toward the front gates. “pretty cool, right?”

“Sans, this is way too big. There’s just the three of us.”

“yeah, but…” He looked slightly taken aback. “just give it a chance, ok?”

You sighed, grabbing Papyrus’ hand while all of you approached the front doors.

There was an actual party going on inside. Guests all around, couples and families inspecting every last speck of paint on the walls to decide if this place was for them. Everyone here looked like they could probably buy out every place you worked at and then some. You weren’t sure you were even welcome here, you were definitely not dressed for such a high-class place.

Sans approached the woman in the center of the room with a wineglass in her hand. Uh…it was a little early to be drinking, but you supposed that if you had enough money, time didn’t matter in the slightest.

“heya. mind if i snag a brochure?”

She jumped at his voice, but settled down once she dropped her gaze. “Oh! I didn’t see you there. Here you are.”

She didn’t even flinch. You had absolutely no goddamn clue how Sans managed to do this. He could charm the pants off anybody. All it took was a few well-placed jokes, a grin, and people were eating out of the palm of his hand. And he never seemed to sweat it, either. Because he was so nonchalant and cool, people found him that much more charming and made exceptions for him. By the way that he introduced himself and got a smile on her face, it looked like he was successful yet again.

“…kinda lookin’ for somethin’ permanent.”

“Well, I can guarantee that the architecture to this place is spectacular. This house has been passed down for several generations. It’s been updated every six months to make sure it can stand against anything and everything.”

“me n’ my girlfriend n’ bro are lookin’ to buy. i'd say this is just in our price range.”

“Excellent! Well, let me give you a tour!”

She dropped everything she was doing and Sans waited for the both of you to follow.

It was…too much.

A grand foyer. Spiral staircase. Fully furnished basement with an entire other bedroom. There was a tennis court outside, a pool, a fountain smack dab in the middle of the garden that stretched on for days, and enough walk-in closets to put any major shopaholic under. You were getting really uncomfortable with how seriously Sans seemed to consider this. Just what kind of money did he think you guys had? You worked at a small time place that put food on the table, and while Papyrus was much more well paid, there was no way that all three of your jobs combined would even put a fraction in the monthly mortgage.

The woman walked away to greet someone who called her name and all three of you were stranded in a room that was bigger than your apartment.

“so, whaddya guys think?”

“Sans, this is _way_ too much,” you told him honestly. “I understand that you wanna spoil us, but we can’t afford something like this. Like. Ever?”

“except we can. i'm gettin’ big bucks from my research proposal.”

“Okay, but that’s supposed to be used to fund your project. Not to spend and dote on us.” You put your hand on his shoulder, making sure he met your gaze head on. “Papyrus and I…you know that we could never live in a place like this. It’s too empty. And while it would be cool at first, it wouldn’t be right just keeping this huge house all to ourselves. This should be reserved for a massive family, I mean, hell, we could have Tori and the two dorks move in here if we wanted. And we would never even see them.”

His expression faltered. “heh…sorry. guess i...just wanted it to be a big thing, y’know? this is a huge step n’…”

Papyrus chuckled. “SANS. WE KNOW YOU HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS. BUT A MANSION IS FAR FROM OUR TRUE DESIRES!!! WHICH IS WHY I HAVE A MUCH BETTER PLACE IN MIND!”

“ok. let’s get outta here. sorry i dragged you guys into this.”

“You don’t have to apologize. We’re…” You glanced at Papyrus and smiled at the warmth that blossomed in your chest. “We’re happy. That you would want us to be somewhere that would spoil us. But let’s save up that money you’re getting for something you need.”

You slipped out of the house, but not before grabbing a few of the fancy hor d’oeuvres that looked like they cost more than your entire month’s worth of meals.

Papyrus was the one who picked where you would go next. He seemed really, _really_ excited about what he had in store for you.

The neighborhood was sort of in the dingy part of the suburbs. Which you didn’t mind, since the place you lived in now wasn’t exactly the most glamorous place. But when Papyrus parked the car, and stepped out, you saw exactly what he’d been looking forward to.

“LOOK AT THIS PLACE. NORMAL ON THE OUTSIDE…BUT INSIDE…IT IS A PUZZLE HOUSE!!! NYEH HEH HEH!”

You couldn’t believe this.

He was right. From the front door, it really didn’t look like much. It was kind of quaint, really. Something with a little yard for Annoying Dog to play in, enough space for your combined furniture if you negotiated a little bit. It all looked normal and domestic, which is what you’d been hoping for.

Stepping through the entrance, though, was something entirely different.

As soon as you walked in, there were stairs. Straight ahead. Unless you managed to squeeze into the tiny hallway that veered around the right and led to who-knows what kinda of room. You nearly bumped into some strange statue of a…was that a wolverine? Made out of…ceramic and chicken feathers?! What the HELL was this place?!

“Oh! Didn’t see you guys there. Um, did you want a tour?”

A squirrely looking monster sat at the foot of the stairs. They looked like they were stuck with this job and knew how bad the place was, but powered through anyway for a paycheck. You felt a little sorry for them, but without even doing a quick walkthrough, you knew this wasn’t going to be anything you would want to reside in for more than ten minutes.

“LEAD THE WAY!” Papyrus bounded after the monster, having to duck as the ceiling sloped and warped the further you went in. Just why he was so pumped, you would soon find out.

The stairs led up to a second floor. Everything was out of place. Doors slightly slanted or tilted so the doorknobs looked like they were melting. There was one hallway that looked like it got smaller the further you went forward, and you started really thinking you were hallucinating by the time you reached the end of it.

“Feel free to explore, uh, by yourselves? See if you like it. I’m going to wait to see if we have any other takers…” The monster scampered away.

You and Sans were stuck wandering around while Papyrus made sure to discover every nook and cranny of the place.

“Sans?”

“sup?”

“So like…why is it that most monsters buy houses like this?”

“whaddya mean?”

He opened the door to the bathroom and peered inside. There was a shower that could probably fit one person tops. You probably wouldn’t even be able to squeeze in there if you tried. He reached out and readjusted one of the paintings of cheese on the walls. Just. Cartoon paintings of cheeses. The frame was off balance and when he tilted it, it snapped right back into place like it was meant to be that way.

“From what I’ve seen, aside from Undyne and Alphys, is that they usually go for things that are, um…what’s the word I’m looking for…fixer uppers?”

He laughed at that. “oh man. i knew this was gonna come up.”

You really didn’t want to be a douche about it, but it was true. When Toriel first moved into her place, it was covered in termites, spiders, vermin and pests. The land was scorched from various bonfires that the previous owners had, the entire front yard had been destroyed from dogs digging around, and the inside of the house was full of mold and chipped paint. She spent a good chunk of time getting it to the beautiful, cozy little place it was now.

Before Alphys and Undyne moved in together in their newer house, that was paid for in large part by Alphys’s research and teaching, they shared a cramped apartment in the worst part of town. No one ever bothered them because they knew Undyne could probably snap them in half, but it was still crazy how they carried on like it was normal. Their landlord was constantly hiking up the rent, their neighbors would party all day and night so they never got any sleep, and the entire place was infested with rats (which the both of them somehow thought was…cute?). You hated going to stop by their place before because you felt like you were going to catch some kind of disease and die off from just hanging out and watching terrible anime together.

“monsters…never had a lot underground. we worked with what we could find. what we could scavenge.” Sans opened up the bathroom mirror and it nearly fell off the rusted hinges. “we survived down there because we just kept goin’. we found things that other people had thrown away – like the bits n’ pieces of the surface that came down into the dump – and made due.

“houses were passed down between families that had ‘em. others had to build their own through materials they could carry. y'know? we had a lot of help, of course, but that was what we considered normal. pitchin' together and making somethin’ new. from parts…that might not have lasted much longer without some tlc.”

You watched him head toward the door leading out, the one on the opposite side that you came in.

“my bro still has it in his head that we have to just deal with things sometimes. he's so positive that he forgets it’s ok to want more. this place would be great for him by himself, but he knows that it’s not a good fit for everyone.”

You got that feeling, too.

“welp, i'm gonna check out where this door leads.”

He opened it, stepped forward, and immediately you heard a large **CRASH**!

“Sans!!!” You ran over to where he was, bursting through to see what happened. Your boyfriend sat on the stairs below, rubbing his skull, wincing at the sudden drop. One look at him sprawled on the ground and you laughed with shaky relief.

“the hell?”

“Whoops! I forgot to tell you. The bathroom door leads to the stairs for a quick escape to the front door! Pretty cool, huh?”

“That was like a three foot drop,” you scolded the other monster. “How would you do that without hurting yourself?”

They shrugged. “Uh, I don’t know, I’ve never had to use it.”

You swung your legs over the edge and hopped down a level to where Sans ended up. He grinned up at you and shifted so you could settle in with him.

Papyrus rushed in not moments later.

“WHAT HAPPENED HERE? SANS, DID YOU INJURE YOURSELF?”

“yep. i was fallin’ pretty hard for this cute girl and the house broke my fall.”

“Pfft.”

“OH MY GOD. THAT IS TERRIBLE. AND SO UNLIKE YOU. THE QUALITY OF YOUR FLIRTATIOUS MESSAGES HAS DECLINED IMMEASURABLY. I WILL BE TAKING AWAY A STAR FROM YOUR CHART WHEN WE GET HOME.” Papyrus lifted you and his brother up without breaking a sweat. “THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL OF YOUR HELP, BUT WE WILL BE LEAVING NOW. AH, WHERE IS THE EXIT?”

“Straight ahead, just watch out for trapdoors!” The monster gave you finger guns. No one laughed. “Just kidding? Maybe?”

Turns out there were two of them. You ended up tumbling down both.

By the time you got back to the house, you were all exhausted. You’d only ever made it to another handful of places once the first two were over with, and none of them seemed to jump out at you. They were either too big, too small, or just didn’t feel…right. It was tough trying to bring your visions to life when most places were built for one couple and a few kids. Nothing for a trio of dorks that just wanted to cohabitate in peace.

You trudged through the door and flopped down onto the couch.

“c’mon, babe, the last one wasn’t so bad.”

“It didn’t even have doors, Sans.”

“so we go out and buy some. heh heh heh.”

“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” You stuck your tongue out at him after lifting your head just long enough for him to see your sour expression. “The sooner we find something, the sooner we can live together, you know.”

“yeah. i know. this arrangement right now? ain't workin’ so well.” He ambled over to where you were and Papyrus joined him. “you think it’s too much? wanna call it quits?”

“WE WOULDN’T BLAME YOU.”

“Are you guys _serious_?” You gigglesnorted. “Yeah, right. This doesn’t mean anything. It’s just one of those…big inconveniences you have to go through. In a perfect world, we’d find our place on the first try. And move in without any hiccups. Do no extra work to maintain it. But that’s boring and honestly unrealistic. I want to go through things like this because I know I can count on you two being there.”

Papyrus puffed his chest out with pride. “WOWIE!!! WHAT A PERFECT WAY TO LOOK AT IT. I, TOO, FEEL THAT THIS IS ONE OF OUR MOST IMPORTANT DECISIONS. AND WE SHOULD NOT MAKE IT LIGHTLY, NO MATTER HOW CHALLENGING IT MAY BE.”

A knock on the door.

“WHOEVER IT IS, WE ARE NOT HOME!!!”

You shoved Papyrus’ shoulder as he continued to bury his face into the crook of your neck. “Ah, Paps, it could be important!”

“I KNOW EXACTLY WHO IT IS AND I DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE TINY CAKES TO SPARE ON THEM.”

“Let’s go, guys.”

You managed to wriggle free of both the brothers. Sans had been napping on one side of the couch, leaning on the arm of it, while Papyrus snuggled up to you and was whispering sweet nothings into your ear. Playing with your hands and the both of you giggling about everything. But now it was time to get back to it, no matter how annoying it seemed.

The real estate agent.

“I would like you three to come with me.”

You hesitated. “Um. You know, as glad as we are that you took the time to come over here, we think that we’d rather try to find something ourselves.”

They snorted and beckoned for you to follow. “You won’t need to search any more once you see this.”

What was with the sudden shift in attitude? You glanced over your shoulder at both of the brothers, who seemed content and not willing to move. But. This could be an opportunity of a lifetime. Was it hard to believe that maybe, by some miracle, that the other monster had a change of heart? That maybe by some act of benevolence that they decided to just stick with you guys and come up with something amazing?

“Guys! We’re going out!”

“WE ARE? OKIE DOKIE! LET ME TIE MY SHOES!”

“tie mine, too.”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT.”

All of you filed outside where the monster brought a van. It looked like something you would climb into and then end up face down in a ditch somewhere. You weren’t too keen on following them and buckling up, but they insisted that the place they were showing you was going to be far enough away that a walk just wasn’t possible.

You stared outside at the scenery rushing past. Reaching down and fumbling with your hands, brows furrowed, trying your best to picture what it was that had this agent so excited.

When you stepped out, all you saw was a giant patch of land.

With a skeleton of a house. Sitting in the middle of it. Nearly bending in the wind.

“WHERE ARE WE? ARE WE LOST?”

“No.” The agent stepped in front of the wood. It looked like it needed some work. “This is the site of your new house.”

Your stomach clenched.

“None of what you want is going to be something we can expand on. Not in your price range, not that someone is willing to give up. You three…work well together. Despite my invasive questions and my drilling, you bounced back and stuck together. I’ve been watching you the entire day. How you’ve been so honest in the way that you want each other to be happy. I have…only seen a handful of couples like you.”

You watched as they paced back and forth, going on a near rant.

“Monster and human couples are still rare. I spent quite a long time Underground hating your species for what they did to us. When I heard from Toriel that the human who contributed to our freedom needed a space to live, I was happy to help. But when she told me that said human was moving in with her two monster boyfriends, I had serious reservations. I wanted to know where it was you stood. Whether you would last. Because my homes, the ones I sell and find for people, are not meant to be temporary. They are meant to last a lifetime and perhaps even more.”

You swallowed thickly. That was…a big commitment. As intimidating as it was, it was something you could strangely see yourself obeying.

“You three need something of your own. And to put everything you have into it. Papyrus, your passion. Sans, your perceptiveness. Human, your perseverance. These are all things that will help your home thrive. It will help it grow. And we have just the right amount of materials and helping hands to do it.”

You weren’t sure what to say at this point. They seemed pretty dead set on this.

“Over there. We can have a court for you, Papyrus. A kitchen where you can cook more of your pastries and desserts. Sans’ new career in astrophysics leaves time for him to work unbothered and in peace. How would a private lab and office do? And you, human. You seem to be the sort that just wants them to be happy, but they want you to have the largest and most spacious room to unwind from a long day. Interlocking rooms. A skylight. These are all incredible ideas, and I have my best architects already sketching up some designs.”

“Wait a second!” You were getting too overwhelmed, here. “We haven’t discussed a budget. I know Sans said to go all out, but we can’t afford anything too big. I don’t make that much, and I’m not putting my boyfriends in debt just for the sake of convenience.”

Their eyes narrowed at you. They stepped forward. Pointed the pencil accusingly.

“This is not about conveniences, human. This is about you. And your beloved monsters coming together someplace where you can be happy. Where you can create memories together. Laugh. Cry. Fall into each other. Living together is serious, you know. It isn’t something you do on the fly. At least, for monsters it isn’t. Do you know how important a home is to us?”

You froze.

Sans had mentioned it today. When he said…that things were passed between generations. How good homes were hard to find. How people from all around collaborated together in order to make things work. That monsters were so stretched thin for all of their resources that the only thing that they could count on – and look forward to – was a warm roof over their heads. Without patches, leaks, problems. Without worrying about faulty things busting at inconvenient times. Without having to go down to the dump in the middle of the night, tearing through all of the garbage for just one single thing that could save a home from disaster.

“Humans may move all the time. We never had that luxury. Picking up our things and relocating is a big deal. And for these monsters to open their arms to you, a human, and want you in their home, in one of the most sacred places, staying with them, is the ultimate act of kindness. Of love.”

That didn’t make sense. Papyrus had Undyne over before you met, when her house had burned down. They had no problem sharing a living space.

“But I--”

“she’s uh…right, babe.” Sans regarded you sheepishly. “guess we shoulda been more up front about it with you.”

“MONSTERS…ARE AWARE OF HOW WE NEED TO SHARE. HOW EVERYTHING WE OWN IS NOT ALWAYS OURS. HOW WE HAVE TO EXTEND A HAND TO THOSE IN NEED. BUT YOU…HAVE YOUR OWN PLACE. AND IT IS NOT LIKE YOU ARE…HOMELESS.”

“so it’s different than you think. if…if you know, you needed us? we’d be there in a heartbeat. but other than that, this is us sayin’ that we…”

“LOVE YOU. VERY MUCH. IMMENSELY SO. SO MUCH THAT WE WANT TO HAVE THIS HOME SHARED BETWEEN ALL THREE OF US. IT…HAS ALWAYS JUST BEEN ME AND SANS, BUT WE ARE FAMILY, SO IT’S DIFFERENT. WITH YOU…EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT.”

You were going to cry. This was too much.

“so, despite all that, are you still ok with this? we should’ve explained it more. with your species, movin’ in is just…an inevitable. with us, it’s…”

“PLEASE DON’T BE MAD AT US. WE DID NOT MEAN TO TRICK YOU.”

You shook your head, voice shaky. “I’m not mad. Okay, I’m mad. At both of you. For thinking that this sort of thing…would be something I would hate.” You wiped away at your face profusely, trying to stop everything from pouring down your cheeks. “I just want to know if you guys are sure. If you want to build this…with me. If you want to live with me in something we’ve made together.”

“YES! OF COURSE! HOW COULD YOU EVEN ASK THAT?!”

“wanted this…for a lot longer than i'm willin’ to admit.”

All three of you went in for an embrace. The agent watched you with minor fascination and slight disgust, returning their gaze back to the notes in their hands. It took a few minutes of complete and utter silence, of you melting in their touch, for you to realize that this was probably one of the happiest moments of your life.

“…SO WHEN CAN CONSTRUCTION BEGIN?”

“We should have the blueprints ready by the end of the week. After that, we will start budgeting. Toriel has already gathered some monsters to help pitch in.”

“Wait! No, I don’t want her worrying about this!” you protested.

The agent eyed you. “Did you just forget everything I told you? Monsters help their own. You’re getting assistance whether you like it or not.”

You had a feeling that they were being so curt because they were touched. Maybe they just didn’t want their cool, mean façade to break? They must’ve had to put on a front ever since they got started in such a highly competitive business like this, so that made sense.

Still. You didn’t even know what to think at this point. It was too much. And too wonderful.

“I ALREADY HAVE SOME AMAZING IDEAS FOR INTERIOR DÉCOR. I WAS THINKING IT COULD BE…BONE-THEMED! GENIUS, I KNOW. I ALMOST DIDN’T RECOGNIZE MY OWN BRILLIANCE UNTIL I DID SOME PRELIMINARY DRAWINGS ON THIS NAPKIN.” Papyrus pulled it from his pocket. “WE HAD SEVERAL PAINTINGS IN OUR HOME OF THEM, BUT PERHAPS WE CAN MAKE A CLEARER STATEMENT THAT SKELETONS ARE VERY COOL!”

You laughed as he led the agent back to the van. Going into big dramatics about his vision, her unimpressed face saying exactly what she thought of him.

Sans stuck his hands in his pockets and stepped forward, his small figure dwarfed in comparison to the barely-there structure that you would be expanding from to build your own place. The setting sun raining beams of colorful light on his bones, his eyesockets crinkling, grin in full force and a few thick tears trying to make their way down his cheekbones. He shook his head slowly and didn’t bother looking at you when you stepped up to meet him.

“So it’s all ours, huh?”

“yep. all ours.”

 

**Author's Note:**

>  **question of the day** : what do you think of the future house?
> 
>  **hi, guys!** normally i plug my own donation stuff here, but a friend of mine is looking to take commissions and donations. she's very sweet and is willing to give you art/fics in exchange for any amount of money. 
> 
>  
> 
> [her post](https://azufrost.tumblr.com/post/150156003833/i-normally-dont-ask-for-help)  
> [her ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/A8367F0)
> 
>  
> 
> thank you!


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